I had a job interview for a clothing store yesterday. The very first question was, “Besides shopping, what are two of your favorite hobbies?” And that’s how I immediately knew I was in the wrong place. Have you ever spent a half hour conversation pretending to be a fashionable person? Me neither, because I failed that portion right around the time they asked my favorite brand of clothing. …Clothing comes in brands? It’s not just a thing I use to cover my nudity? Weird.

Anyway, I’m hanging out with a literal baby over the next couple of days. No word yet if it used to be an adult, but I hope so.