When you’ve got nothing to talk about, it’s best to stick to talking about the weather. Sadly, it’s not something you can talk about at length. So I can say, “last week was a hellscape of blazing heat and pollen clouds spawned by Satan’s ass” but after that the only thing I can add is, “and I hope it rains the rest of the Summer”. Ergo, the weather is fine for small talk in an elevator, but isn’t a particularly practical conversation topic outside of that.

Next week: more lessons in talking for the socially stunted!