I’m redacting anything I said that might’ve sounded like an endorsement for the pigeon game. The official ending takes all the goodwill and poops on it (like some sort of pigeon). I don’t play silly games about dating talking birds just so it can turn around and make me read a legit story about human/avian war that makes me feel things. How dare you, game. How. Dare. You.

In other news: my throat hurts and no one delivers soup at this hour/out to my house/probably at all. How dare you, world. How DARE you.