This script is three years old! I can tell you that with confidence because I remember I wrote it shortly after I received The Pagemaster for Christmas the first year Derwin and I dated. I’d never seen it but had wanted to ever since I was a kid.

But, let me tell you:

No matter how you remember Pagemaster, I guarantee you it’s worse than that.

And if you haven’t seen it:

Sorry, but those are the only jokes I’m going to make from here on out. Ubothsuck(dot)com: all Pagemaster jokes, all the time.